


you know what they say about assumptions

by darlingargents



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, M/M, Mistaken for Cheating, Multi, Podfic Available, Polyamory, Social Media, also minor warning for misogynistic language, mentioned past obiquin obitine and obi/cody, mentioned riyosoka, obi-wan really gets around amiright, the media assumes things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingargents/pseuds/darlingargents
Summary: Padmé, Anakin, and Obi-Wan are dating. For some reason, the media doesn't know what to make of it.Featuring Ahsoka's Snapchat, Anakin's band The Sith Lords, Satine's talk show, and Quinlan and Luminara starring inGeneric Action Hero: European City.





	you know what they say about assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHO'S FINALLY WRITING STAR WARS FIC AGAIN! Feels good, feels organic.
> 
> I wrote most of this about a year ago, so if the writing feels a little uneven, that would be why. Also I don't use Snapchat very often so if I used the wrong terminology please let me know so I can fix it.
> 
> Also if anyone here cares: the next chapter of _Lights Will Guide You Home_ should be published by the end of the week, as soon as I get it back from beta! On that note, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine.

A magazine landed on the table in front of Anakin, and he looked up from his phone at Padmé. Her expression was unreadable.

“Look at this,” she said. He picked it up and looked at the picture on the front: a blurry photo of someone entering a building. He looked closer—

“Is that Obi-Wan?”

“Read it,” she said. He flipped the magazine open to the third page. The same image was front and centre on the page.

> **Secret Affair?**
> 
> Two nights ago, a passersby captured this image of indie musician Obi-Wan Kenobi entering the apartment building that designer Padmé Amidala calls home. He entered at approximately nine-thirty at night, and the same passersby reported that Kenobi didn’t leave the building until the next morning. Amidala was also at home that night: several twitter and Instagram updates show her at home and relaxing in _Amidala Designs_ pyjamas.
> 
> While, of course, Amidala is not the only resident of the building, her friendship with Kenobi is well known — as is Kenobi’s friendship with Amidala’s long-term boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker, leader singer and guitarist of rock band The Sith Lords. Is Amidala having an affair? What does Skywalker know? We’ll keep you updated on this sensational story.

Anakin looked back at Padmé. “ _What_?”

She stifled a laugh. “Yeah.”

“How did this happen?”

“I was going to ask you that.” She leaned against the counter, looking professional as ever in a crisp white blouse and a dark green pencil skirt with a fuchsia scarf. “Why was he coming in the front? Didn’t you drive him and park in the garage?”

“He wanted to go through the lobby and get Starbucks. I parked in the underground parking and met him at the elevator.”

“Of course.” Padmé flicked an invisible speck of dust off of her marble island with one of her manicured nails. “He loves his Starbucks.”

Anakin folded up the magazine and moved it aside. “So how are we going to play this? I guess we have to come clean now, right?”

Padmé shrugged. When the three of them had begun dating two years ago, they had agreed to keep it a secret — advertising Obi-Wan’s friendship with both of them and having Padmé and Anakin be the public couple. They’d known it couldn’t be a secret forever, but the media wasn’t exactly accepting about polyamory; they’d decided that the difficulty of a secret relationship was worth it, at least for the time being. “Maybe,” she said. “But maybe… maybe, since the cat’s about halfway out of the bag, we could have a little bit of fun with it?”

“Have fun with what?”

Padmé and Anakin both turned to see Obi-Wan, who had finally gotten up. He was rubbing his eyes, still half asleep and only dressed in drawstring _Amidala Designs: Men’s Line_ pants. Padmé handed him a prepared coffee with a knowing grin; Obi-Wan slept later and needed more coffee than either of them, and it was a well-established habit.

Anakin picked up the magazine and handed it to Obi-Wan. “With this.”

He read through it with a neutral expression before tossing it back down on the counter. “Are you sure?”

Anakin shrugged. “Why not? If they’re going to find out anyway, we should amp up the publicity surrounding it for a few days first.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Obi-Wan sat down next to Anakin at the island and took a long drink of his coffee. “Tonight?”

Padmé glanced at her watch. “Sure. I have to run, but you two plan something while I’m gone?” She picked up her purse and left the kitchen, heels clicking against the marble floor. A moment later, the front door opened and closed again.

“So,” said Anakin, turning to face Obi-Wan. “Any ideas?”

* * *

That night, they arrived at the steakhouse restaurant together in Padmé’s limo. She’d tweeted their destination ten minutes earlier, and so the place was already surrounded by paparazzi, lights flashing as soon as the limo stopped.

“Ready?” said Anakin, as Padmé touched up her lipgloss.

“Ready,” echoed Padmé and Obi-Wan in unison. Anakin nodded and opened the door, the camera flashes increasing in frequency and questions being shouted from every direction immediately.

Anakin ignored them, stepping away and taking Padmé’s hand to help her out. Obi-Wan followed, leading to a sudden focus on him as Padmé and Anakin walked ahead, holding hands and practically cuddling. Obi-Wan followed right behind them. Anakin kept his eyes trained on the ground, blocking out the overlapping shouted questions.

“Obi-Wan, are you and Padmé involved?”

“Why did you stay at Padmé’s apartment last night, Obi-Wan?”

“Anakin, how does it feel to be cheated on?”

“Padmé, why are you cheating on Anakin?”

“Anakin, are you aware that your bitch girlfriend is a fucking your best friend?”

Anakin actually looked up at the last comment and saw that it was a young man in a fedora with a smartphone, not a paparazzo. With concentrated effort, he looked away and ignored it, but his hand tightened on Padmé’s and she shot him a sympathetic look. Anakin had always been more sensitive to slurs and insults than she was.

They got into the restaurant without any more issues and sat down at their reserved table, close enough to a window for them to be easily photographed from the outside. As they ordered their drinks and picked up the menus, the flashing lights continued, though at longer intervals.

“So when are we going to do this?” asked Anakin under his breath.

“Wait until after we order,” said Padmé softly. Anakin nodded and Obi-Wan hid a grin by taking a sip of his water.

A few minutes later, they had ordered, and Anakin sent a text under the table. A moment later, his phone rang. He looked down at it, pained, and said “I have to take this,” in a slightly louder voice than was necessary.

Padmé touched his arm in response and Obi-Wan nodded as he answered the call and stepped away from the table. “Hey, Ahsoka!” he said brightly into the phone.

* * *

“So how obvious are we being?” asked Padmé under her breath as she threw an exaggerated glance over her shoulder in Anakin’s direction. He was near the restrooms, leaning against the wall and facing away from her as he chatted with Ahsoka.

“What do you think they’ll buy?” asked Obi-Wan, and she smirked as she took a sip of her champagne.

“Alright,” she said, putting down her glass and moving her chair over a few inches. With exaggerated surreptitiousness, she reached for Obi-Wan’s hand, and he took it. The camera flashes increased in frequency. She’d angled it so that Anakin wouldn’t be able to see from where he was, but the paparazzi could, just barely. She hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

Obi-Wan, apparently, wasn’t worried about what was obvious. She glanced anxiously in Anakin’s direction, as if worried about being caught, and when she turned her head back he snuck a quick kiss against her lips. She started, not expecting it, but deepened the kiss a moment later, one hand tangled in his hair. The flashes got even more frequent, bright enough that she could see them despite her closed eyes, and shouts began. They hadn’t been speaking before, just taking pictures, but now this was a story, not just a photo op, and they were trying to get more out of it.

Obi-Wan pulled away a moment later and Padmé touched her lips automatically, feeling that her lipgloss was smudged. She wiped it off on her napkin as Obi-Wan ran his hand over his mouth to get the sparkles off. A moment later, Anakin sat back down across from her and Obi-Wan.

“What’d I miss?” he asked cheerfully, and, out of the sight of the cameras, winked at them.

* * *

“Oh, this is _good_.” Padmé grinned through a mouth full of yogurt and tossed the magazine onto the island, where Anakin was seated. Obi-Wan was still in the shower.

“What is it?” he asked, glancing at the paper. The cover photo was a surprisingly clear shot of Obi-Wan and Padmé’s kiss, taken from outside the window. The title was big and bold: **Confirmed Affair!**

She was still smiling as she went around the island to sit beside him. “The story goes on about how happy you looked and how awful Obi-Wan and I are for kissing with you literally a few meters away. Also about what a bitch I am for walking out smiling on your arm. Not in such graphic language, of course.”

“Right.” Anakin picked up the magazine and flipped it open to the article. There were two pictures on the page: another angle on the kiss and a picture of Padmé glancing back to where Anakin had been standing, her hand in Obi-Wan’s.

> **Confirmed Affair!**
> 
> While only yesterday the rumours of fashion designer Padmé Amidala cheating on musician Anakin Skywalker were simply circumstantial, the evidence now seems clear: Amidala is involved with musician Obi-Wan Kenobi, close friend of Skywalker’s.
> 
> Last night the three went for dinner at a steakhouse, and were seated near a window. Soon after ordering, Skywalker received a call and left the table to take it. In his absence, Amidala moved her chair closer to Kenobi’s and held his hand under the table. Only moments later, with Skywalker still in the same room and only a few meters away, the two passionately kissed until Skywalker returned to the table, and behaved as if nothing had happened. The three enjoyed the rest of their meal, and despite this awful breach of trust, Amidala continued to act as a doting partner to Skywalker. Amidala and Skywalker walked out together, arm in arm and glowing with happiness, while Kenobi trailed behind.
> 
> _This story is continued on page 4._

“Wow, this is _awesome_ ,” said Anakin, grinning. He flipped to the next page.

“Isn’t it?” said Padmé, leaning over his shoulder to read the continuation.  

> **Cont.: Padmé Amidala cheats on Anakin Skywalker with close mutual friend**
> 
> Anakin Skywalker, The Sith Lords guitarist and singer, has been in the public eye for four years now. At the age of eighteen, his band rose sharply from obscurity to mainstream popularity. He moved out of his hometown and abject poverty to New York City, where he met Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padmé Amidala — Kenobi at a music festival, and Amidala at a party. The three are known to be close friends who interact frequently and publicly. Two years after their meeting, Amidala and Skywalker were confirmed to be in a relationship.
> 
> Padmé Amidala is a fashion designer, her designs world-renowned. She has won awards for her designs and her dresses have been modelled at Paris Fashion Week and other world-class events. But without her relationship with Skywalker, it’s easy to see her being regulated to the role of most fashion designers: working behind the scenes. A household name, but not someone who would be easily recognized outside of specific circles. It’s easy to imagine her beginning a relationship with a world-famous rockstar in order to reach higher levels of fame.
> 
> Obi-Wan Kenobi is an indie-folk musician — less well-known than Skywalker, but his relationship with him and Amidala have done wonders for his career. One wonders if he’s taking advantage of this star-studded couple. This scandal may do well to bring more attention to him, and by extension, his music.
> 
> These three are a puzzling group, and their dynamics are hard to understand from a distance. But it seems clear here that Skywalker is a victim: his glowing joy walking out of the restaurant after dozens of others saw his girlfriend kissing his closest public friend is a hard thing to see. As is Amidala’s glowing happiness as she holds his arm; she was just caught on camera having an affair, and yet she’s smiling and looking as lovestruck as she was from their first public appearance.
> 
> It is likely that sometime soon, Skywalker’s bubble of joy will burst: this story will reach him soon. We wish him the best.

“This is hilarious,” said Anakin. His chest almost hurt from laughing. “I mean, god, they’re talking like there’s only one explanation for what they saw.”

“I mean, in their minds, there probably is,” Padmé pointed out. “Most people don’t know what polyamory is.”

“I get that, it’s just…” He gestured to the paper. “I’m sorry, it’s just so fucking ridiculous.”

She laughed a bit. “Yeah, it is. I wonder what they’ll think when you act exactly the same as usual?”

“Their little minds will explode,” he said fondly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She grinned and swatted his hand away as he reached out to touch her.

“Come on, Ani, I have work.”

“Have fun!” he called as she left. A moment later, Obi-Wan stepped out of the bedroom, only in jeans and socks, a few drops of water still clinging to his bare chest.

“Is Padmé gone?” he asked as he approached Anakin.

“Just left,” said Anakin. As Obi-Wan passed him, he wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed him lightly. “You should check out the article,” he said as Obi-Wan pulled away and walked around the island to the fridge.

“Sure. What does it say?” he asked. “In general.”

“Padmé’s a bitch, you’re an opportunist bastard, I’m a poor innocent man whose soul will be crushed upon receiving this news,” he said, closing the paper and handing it to Obi-Wan with the front cover facing him. Obi-Wan read through it as he began making scrambled eggs.

“Hmm,” he said once he finished. He took a bite of the eggs; apparently satisfied, he tipped them onto a plate. “I guess we have to change this up, don’t we?”

Anakin felt himself grin widely. “Oh, yeah.”

* * *

“But really, Anakin, a _movie_? What are we, sixteen?” asked Obi-Wan as Anakin parked outside the theatre. There was already a few photographers outside; Obi-Wan had tweeted their destination once they were en route.

“No, but Ahsoka is, and this is for her benefit as well.” Anakin opened the door and pulled out his phone to check his texts. “She’s here. You ready?”

“Yes,” said Obi-Wan, voice resigned. A few photographers had spotted them and bright flashes of light had started blinding them. Anakin wanted to grab Obi-Wan and kiss him in full view of the cameras, just to prove that he didn’t care about them, but that was too obvious. There was a plan; they had to stick to it.

They’d parked relatively close to the entrance, and managed to get through the paparazzi quickly. Inside, Ahsoka stood in line for popcorn; she waved as they entered, and Anakin waved back while Obi-Wan smiled at her.

“I’ll pay,” said Anakin as he joined her in line. He handed her a $20 bill, but she waved it off.

“I’m fine, thanks. I have a job now, remember?” She raised a brow at him, and Anakin smiled.

“Of course you do, Snips. How is flipping burgers working for you?”

“Well enough. I have to save up for college, right?”

“Of course.” Anakin gave her a one-armed hug, and she smiled and relaxed into it. Anakin hadn’t seen her in person for almost a month, and he hadn’t realized how much he missed her.

Ahsoka was Anakin’s foster sister. When his mother had died when he was nine, he’d moved into the same foster home that Ahsoka was already living in. He was five years older, but they’d bonded immediately, and he’d helped relocate her to New York City after his music career took off and once she felt like she was old enough to live on her own. And while she’d accepted his help to transfer to an NYC school and get emancipated, she refused to take his money or use his connections; she wanted to take her own path. Anakin admired her for that.

Once she’d gotten her popcorn, they made their way over to the ticket booth and scanned in their printed tickets. The movie they were seeing was an action movie; not really Obi-Wan’s thing, Anakin knew, but they were both doing it for Ahsoka — and the story.

“So,” said Anakin as they made their way down the hall to the theatre, “how’s your girlfriend? Riyo, right?”

Ahsoka brightened immediately. “Yeah! She’s great. We’re really good. Six month anniversary next week, actually.”

“Can I throw you a party?” asked Anakin, half-joking, and Ahsoka laughed.

“ _No_.” She bumped him with her shoulder. “We’re just having dinner.”

“Alright.” He threw his arm over her shoulder as they walked. “So glad to see you’re growing up.”

She laughed, but there was affection under it. “Yeah, sure.” She pushed him away with a subtle head-title towards a paparazzo who was taking pictures from behind a garbage can. “Want to show why you’re really here?” she whispered.

Anakin grinned, and reached behind him for Obi-Wan’s hand. The other man grinned and came forward to walk in step with Anakin. The flashes became more frequent, impossible to ignore, but Anakin just threaded their fingers together and kept walking.

* * *

Halfway through the movie, during a brightly lit scene, phase two of their plan went into action.

Ahsoka surreptitiously pulled out her phone and gave Anakin, who was sitting on her right, a tiny nod. From their position in the back of the theatre, no one else noticed as she opened Snapchat. Out of her vision, Anakin tapped his right hand against Obi-Wan’s knee.

In the light of the screen, Ahsoka could see the tiny smirk on Obi-Wan’s face before he turned away from the screen and leaned in.

They kissed for a few seconds, just barely visible in the light of the screen, Ahsoka taking a few shots before nailing one that got Obi-Wan’s beard in clear light. She tapped Anakin’s arm to indicate success, and they broke apart.

She captioned the snap “can’t believe big bro is too busy with his bf to pay attention to the movie… smh @walkingonthesky @ob1kenobi *eyeroll emoji* *eyeroll emoji*”

She hit publish, and grinned as she put her phone on do not disturb. Before she even turned it off, notifications began to fill her screen.

* * *

After the movie, there were a half-dozen paparazzi waiting outside the theatre. Obi-Wan walked behind Anakin and Ahsoka, and they kept their heads down, ignoring the shouted questions about Ahsoka’s snap from during the movie. She had a lot of subscribers on Snapchat, due to her relationship with Anakin, and though few people bothered her in real life — Anakin had sued one too many of them, and he would never regret it, considering the first time she’d had her photo printed in a magazine she’d had a panic attack and refused to go outside with covering her face for weeks — lots of people kept up with her Snapchat, due to her frequent mentions of Anakin. That’s what they’d been counting on.

“Thanks for that,” he said in the parking garage. She’d agreed to let him drive her to the bus, after much resistance, finally giving in once he’d pointed out that she’d just opened herself up to questions and probably wanted to be walking publicly as little as possible.

“No problem,” she said with a grin as she took the back seat and Obi-Wan took the passenger side. “I’m always down to mess with the paparazzi. They’ve made our lives hell often enough, time to give _them_ a hard time, right?”

Anakin laughed and fist-bumped her over the partition between the front seats. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, but he was still grinning.

“Do you want me to post a snap of the first article I see about it?” Ahsoka asked as Anakin pulled out of the parking garage and onto the street. He shrugged.

“If you’d like. No reason not to, I guess.”

Ahsoka grinned.

* * *

Anakin’s phone buzzed soon after he got to Padmé’s apartment after the movie, and he pulled it out to see that Ahsoka had sent him a snap. He opened it.

_@sokaskywalker on Snapchat:_

_[An shaky picture of an entertainment article on a laptop screen, with the headline “Obi-Wan Kenobi: Playing Both of his Lovers for Fools?”. The only caption is several cry-laughing emojis.]_

He laughed, and saw that she’d also posted it to her story. His phone buzzed again, this time with a text from Ahsoka, which was just the URL of a news article.

He opened it up, and gestured for Obi-Wan to come see. They read it together.

> **Obi-Wan Kenobi: Playing Both of his Lovers for Fools?**
> 
> The Kenobi-Amidala-Skywalker trifecta, which seemed so clear only a day ago, has befuddled us once again.
> 
> Ahsoka Tano Skywalker is Anakin Skywalker’s foster sister, whom he helped emancipate and move to New York when she turned fourteen. She officially took his surname and moved her own to a middle name last year. The two are clearly close, and many fans follow her official Snapchat account, @sokaskywalker, for her humorous observations and, of course, updates about Anakin.
> 
> Yesterday, however, seems to be the most interesting update seen so far.
> 
> _[A screenshot of Ahsoka’s snap from the movie]_
> 
> Her caption, and the picture itself, seems to indicate that the men kissing in the photo are, indeed, Anakin and Obi-Wan. And our own reporter got several pictures of them before they entered the theatre to see Generic Action Hero: European City, the latest of Generic Action Hero’s adventures around the world, which came out last month and stars Obi-Wan’s friends: Quinlan Vos as Generic Action Hero and Luminara Unduli as Action Hero’s More Competent Partner With Whom He Has A Large Amount Of Unresolved and Repressed Sexual Tension.
> 
> Is this Snapchat update evidence of a multi-way affair? Are Amidala and Skywalker cheating on each other with the same man? And what does Ahsoka know?
> 
> We will continue to keep you tuned on this sensational story, which is turning more complicated by the day.

“I can’t believe they didn’t mention that Quinlan and I used to date,” said Obi-Wan, looking more than a little put out. “I mean, I feel like they could have drawn an interesting connection there.”

“Is that the only reason you agreed to see an action movie? Because Quinlan was in it?” asked Anakin, saving the article to his phone and sending the link to Padmé.

“Well, I’d already seen it. And I may find the explosions to be in poor taste, but I never say no to shirtless Quinlan seducing an enemy agent in a smoky bar bathroom.”

Anakin laughed. “So that’s why _Generic Action Hero_ is the only action franchise you like.”

“Hey, we ended on good terms. And sometimes it’s nice to see your attractive ex shirtless and having sex with an enemy agent in a smoky bar bathroom or back alley or convertible. Besides, it’s not like you or Padmé ever complained, either.”

“I suppose not.”

* * *

After dinner that night, Anakin received a call from the three’s join publicist, Sabé. She shouted him down for ten minutes straight about neglecting to tell her about the publicity stunt, and then, in more calm tones, explained that she’d contacted Padmé already and they were arranging an interview to bring the scandal to an end.

“Padmé wants to take charge of the story,” Sabé said at the end of the call. “She’s going to arrange an Instagram photo op and post it tonight, and your interview is tomorrow. With Satine Kryze. Tell Kenobi for me. Don’t fuck it up, alright?”

Anakin laughed. “Thanks, Sabé. Glad to have you, as always.”

“Remember that when it’s time for my Christmas bonus, Skywalker. Glad to work with you.” She hung up, and Anakin smiled at his phone as he locked it and turned to Obi-Wan.

“She told me to let you know that Padmé’s gonna post an Instagram pic of the three of us tonight and we have an interview with Satine Kryze tomorrow to make this official.”

Obi-Wan grinned at him from the couch. He had his guitar on his lap, plucking out notes and looking over his song-writing notes; they’d both let work slip while the scandal was happening, but Obi-Wan was working on a new album, and he had a lot of catching up to do. “Sounds great. It’s always nice to see Satine again.”

Anakin laughed. “You have exes everywhere, I swear.”

“Hey, I’ve dated lots of people, but at least I’m no cheater. And I’m on good terms with most of them.”

Anakin coughed out, “Cody.” Obi-Wan looked affronted.

“We’re not on bad terms.”

“That’s a little frightening. If you don’t consider calling his band a ‘ripoff Nickelback’ and a ‘one-hit wonder’, and him a ‘two-face, uninspired disgrace to the music industry’, what would you consider bad terms?”

Obi-Wan sighed. “All right, yes. But pretty much everyone else is fine.”

“Sure.”

Padmé chose that moment to come into her apartment, heels clicking against the floor. She tossed her bag on the counter, kicked off her shoes, and joined Anakin and Obi-Wan on the couch.

“What are we talking about?” she asked as she started pulling pins out of her hair, and winced. “Ugh, I’m really glad that collection is finished. I have about a week off before I have to do final alterations.”

“Good job!” Anakin kissed her cheek and then nodded at Obi-Wan. “We’re talking about the bad ex.”

“Cody? Why?”

“Did you two decide he’s ‘the bad ex’? Really?”

“‘Ripoff Nickelback’,” said Anakin, and Obi-Wan groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

“I knew that was a mistake as soon as I said it. It’s going to haunt me forever.”

Anakin punched his shoulder lightly. “Come on. I only saw, like, five hate-sex RPF fanfics with that title or description.”

Obi-Wan groaned louder.

“Well, we need to get that picture for Instagram,” said Padmé. “Sabé told you?” At their nods, she pulled out her phone, and arranged her hair artfully over her shoulders before holding out the phone sideways and grinning. Obi-Wan adjusted his guitar to get it in the picture more clearly, Anakin wrapped his arms around both of them, and, grinning widely, Padmé took the picture.

The caption read:

_Relaxing for the night with my favourite men in the world. #Igettohearsamplesofhisnewablbum #luckyme #youregonnaloveit #obianidala_

“Is the ship name a bit much?” she asked. Anakin shook his head.

“Better to take charge before the fandom names us ‘kenamisky’, or something like that.”

“I guess.” She hit share.

* * *

Padmé had, of course, decided already what they were wearing, and the next morning she handed them both piles of fabric straight out of the shower and spent five minutes examining all three of them once they were all dressed before deeming their outfits ‘suitably complementary without being matchy’. She drove them to the studio, where Sabé met them and escorted them to makeup.

Anakin had been there before — Satine Kryze interviewed all the hottest stars, and all of them had been there, at one time or another — but never with Obi-Wan. He’d been there with Padmé shortly after making their relationship public. He hoped this experience was similar to that one, since it hadn’t been too invasive or stressful, but he supposed that this was a little more controversial.

Well, they’d brought that upon themselves. At least in part. He grinned at Obi-Wan as the final touches were being made on their makeup, and the other man grinned back.

They were ushered into the stage area when they had three minutes until airtime, and Satine greeted them with a warm smile, shaking hands with Padmé and Anakin and pulling Obi-Wan into a hug. An assistant handed them all water, and they sat down on a couch together, Anakin between Padmé and Obi-Wan.

“Glad to have you here again,” Satine said as someone called “one minute!” from backstage. “For the first time all together, of course, which is just so exciting.”

“For us too,” said Obi-Wan, and Padmé grinned. Anakin squeezed Obi-wan’s knee affectionately, and Satine noticed, her brows raising a little before she schooled her features back to neutrality.

“Alright.” She took a sip of water, and glanced at her watch. “Game faces on.”

“Five, four, three, two—”

“Good morning! I’m Satine Kryze and this is the Satine Kryze Celebrity Update. I’m here today with Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Padmé Amidala, whose relationships have been making headlines for the past few days. Can I just say, it’s lovely to have you all here together.”

The camera panned over to the three of them, and Anakin smiled, entirely at ease. “It’s great to be here, Satine.”

“You flatter me. Now, let’s talk about the story that we’re all thinking about, shall we?”

The images of the stage faded out on the live screen, and Satine pulled up cue cards to read from as the image that started it all flashed across the screen.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi was photographed a few nights ago going into Padmé’s apartment building, and was not reported leaving until the next morning. Of course, we drew our conclusions then, but nothing was official—”

The image was replaced by two images on the screen. One of Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan going into a restaurant, and one of Padmé and Obi-Wan kissing passionately at the table while Anakin chatted idly into his phone in the background.

“—until the next night, when this picture surfaced. Many were understandably shocked, or even horrified, as the evidence seemed clear: Padmé was cheating on her boyfriend with a mutual friend.”

Padmé shifted a little, and Anakin took her hand, squeezing it. He couldn’t speak, but tried to send her his thoughts, despite how impossible that was. _We’re here to set things straight_.

The images faded out again, replaced by the fateful snap, and a picture of Obi-Wan and Anakin holding hands as they went into the theatre.

“But the drama seemed to only increase, as Obi-Wan was caught kissing Anakin by Anakin’s younger sister a few days later at a movie. Ahsoka Tano Skywalker’s Snapchat—” her username, @sokaskywalker, floated on the screen, “—gained over half a million followers overnight after this reveal. And nothing seemed clear, still.”

The images faded out, replaced by a single image — Padmé’s Instagram post from the night before, and its caption.

“Until last night, when Padmé posted this picture on her Instagram, with the hashtag #obianidala.” Satine put away the cue cards as it faded back to the stage. “Now, I think we’d all like an explanation here.”

“We anticipated that,” said Obi-Wan. The studio audience laughed. “First of all, we’d like to make it clear that we’re all in a relationship with each other. There’s no cheating involved; we’re all entirely aware and have been since the beginning.”

“When was the beginning?” Satine asked.

“The same time that Anakin and I started dating,” said Padmé. “We were all in a relationship then, but not quite sure that it was a good idea to make it public. We decided, mostly at random, that Anakin and I would make our relationship public, and we’d keep Obi-Wan as a public friend. It lent a little more mystery to his music, we figured.” The studio audience laughed again, and so did Satine. “Anyway, we knew this would happen eventually. When the picture of Obi-Wan was published, we decided it was time.”

“That’s very brave of you,” said Satine. “I’m sure we’re all wondering, though, why not just do an interview or Instagram right off the bat?”

“For fun,” said Anakin. The studio audience laughed yet again. It was starting to grate on his nerves, but he didn’t let his smile waver. “We figured we’d play with your perceptions a little. Maybe a bit mean, but it was pretty amusing to us.”

“You roped in Ahsoka for that?”

“She was glad to help.” Anakin grinned. “The Snapchat was her idea, too. We just thought we’d hold hands outside a movie theatre. She came up with a better idea.”

“Well, I’m sure we’re all grateful for that,” said Satine. “I’m glad you three have come clean, and hopefully this will make your lives a little easier, not having to hide.”

“Hopefully,” said Padmé with a smile. “And I can use Obi-Wan as a model for Amidala Designs underwear, too! The new line will be out this fall.”

Laughter. Satine smiled. “I’m sure we’re all anticipating that with bated breath. Thank you three for coming in.”

* * *

That night, the three of them went out for dinner together. And at the end of the meal, when Anakin kissed both Padmé and Obi-Wan at the table before they left and the paparazzi started shouting questions at them, he felt nothing but relief that he didn’t have to hide anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that I’ve thought of it, I kind of want to write about the instalment of the Generic Action Hero franchise in which Quinlan and Luminara’s characters finally resolve their sexual tension. Probably while handcuffed together in a cell in an enemy fortress while awaiting execution in the morning.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] you know what they say about assumptions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13354191) by [knight_tracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_tracer/pseuds/knight_tracer), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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